Don’t trust birds!

By Greg Spearritt

Thanks to the ever-estimable Aunty I now realise that birds aren’t real. This truth has apparently been out there since 2017, so obviously I’m slow on the uptake.

The Government has apparently secretly disposed of all the real birds and replaced them with lookalike spy drones. The evidence for this is considerable. Have you ever, for instance, seen a baby pigeon? If you were to touch a powerline, chances are you’d be toast, but birds perch on them all day long. The reason? They’re charging their batteries. And all that bird poop on your car? A liquid tracking device.

It’s obvious when you think about it. If you don’t believe me, just google ‘birds aren’t real’.

Please make sure you social-media all your friends to let them know. Especially the Twitchers: the watching goes both ways!

Disclaimer: views represented in SOFiA blog posts are entirely the view of the respective authors and in no way represent an official SOFiA position. They are intended to stimulate thought, rather than present a final word on any topic.

Photo by Mohan Murugesan on Unsplash