Don’t trust birds!
By Greg Spearritt
Thanks to the ever-estimable Aunty I now realise that birds aren’t real. This truth has apparently been out there since 2017, so obviously I’m slow on the uptake.
The Government has apparently secretly disposed of all the real birds and replaced them with lookalike spy drones. The evidence for this is considerable. Have you ever, for instance, seen a baby pigeon? If you were to touch a powerline, chances are you’d be toast, but birds perch on them all day long. The reason? They’re charging their batteries. And all that bird poop on your car? A liquid tracking device.
It’s obvious when you think about it. If you don’t believe me, just google ‘birds aren’t real’.
Please make sure you social-media all your friends to let them know. Especially the Twitchers: the watching goes both ways!
Disclaimer: views represented in SOFiA blog posts are entirely the view of the respective authors and in no way represent an official SOFiA position. They are intended to stimulate thought, rather than present a final word on any topic.
Photo by Mohan Murugesan on Unsplash
Joking aside, there are a half dozen Magpies which gather round my back door each morning waiting to be fed.
The birds’ delightful warbling grows ever louder until I appear with food in hand.
Am I the “God” of their Cargo Cult?
If I am not indulging in a bout of anthropomorphization, then the origin of Religion goes back into the murky depths of an evolutionary past, and not just to the relatively recent cave paintings of us humanoids.